bell hooks in Communion: Female Search for Love (via monkeyknifefight)
And I play into that like a person who really plays into that.
You deserve to be love, you’ve always deserved it and this is true for all people who read this I’m so sorry you had to go through this…
No one deserves to feel like they have to earn love this is so wrong…
You know, if you’re going to think that it’s so incredibly absurd when people think that they deserve to be abused by a spouse.
You might want to think about how we live in a culture where the same treatment is perfectly allowable when a parent is doing it to a child.
Give me one damn reason why it’s wrong to hit someone, wrong to destroy their property, wrong to beat them down and berate them; if you’re perfectly willing to accept it when it’s coming from a parent doing it to their child.
If you’re told from all sides that it’s okay when you’re a kid, that you deserve it as a kid, it’s perfectly logical to believe that you deserve it as an adult.
OH Yes, THIS, This This!!!!
Gender roles as in “women are called ‘she’ and men are called ‘he’” are not the same thing as gender roles as in “women are caring and submissive and men are brave and leaders”.
Gender as in “women recognize other women as their kind and men recognize men as their kind” (and nonbinary people recognize like nonbinaries) is not (entirely) the same thing as the coercive separation of people perceived by those in power as women and likewise-perceived men.
Randy Pausch (via thelittleidiotthatcould)
When I first heard this, I thought it was really inspiring.
But now, facing transition and the enormous hurdles involved in that endeavor, I have a new perspective. I question if this sentiment is actually JUSTIFICATION for gatekeeping and marginalizing people. WHO are these wall-builders? WHY do THEY get to decide where and how high these walls are built? Dr. Pausch’s sentiment is inspiring when applied to internal hurdles, but reeks of abuse when applied to the gatekeeping that privileged people engage in.
Look at yourselves and how you’re acting right now. A WoC dares to point out that Rush Limbaugh has been saying racist and sexist shit to WoC for years and y’all lose your shit! You pull out every trick in the book in an attempt to derail the conversation. I’ve heard everything from “it’s not always about race” to “you cunts just hate white people”.
The way y’all are acting right now is why I stripped myself of the “feminist” title. I came into this shit real naive. I was under the impression that we were fighting for all women. You know trans*, cis, straight, gay, bi, asexual, pansexual, PoC, white people, all of us. I learned pretty motherfucking quickly I was wrong. It first started with the cis white feminists complaining about using trans* inclusive language. All you had to do, at the very fucking least, was say people instead of women. You moaned, you complained, and you cried. One of you even said “why can’t we have something for ourselves”.
The second strike came with the harassment and belittling of asexual and demisexual people. You laughed at, mocked, and harassed people for their sexual identity. You even had the nerve to tell them that their identity wasn’t a valid one. I don’t know about everyone else, but I think that’s some fucked up shit.
What really pisses me off beyond all reason is the constant dismissal and harassment of WoC. We aren’t allowed to discuss our experiences with sexism and racism without having some white feminist™ drop in with her two cents on the matter. We get told by you how we should think, act, and feel. Our experiences with racism don’t matter to you. Whenever we talk about the things we go through on a daily basis, we’re told we are overreacting, we’re “being too sensitive”, and that “it’s not always about race”. It’s either that or we get the educated white feminist™ who thinks they can jump in and tell us what really is and isn’t racist.
Intersectionality doesn’t exist with you people. You treat MoC as if they are the most sexist men on the face of the earth when it is white men who control society. White cis men make the most money in this country. White cis men control the media. White cis men control the government. You just want to ignore that though. It’s much easier to blame MoC for everything, isn’t it?
Until you people learn to understand and examine your privilege, I refuse to call myself a feminist. You’re always asking and wondering why PoC, trans* people, and others avoid y’all like the plague, here is your answer. As of right now, feminism only fights for the equality of white middle class cis women. You have a hell of a lot of work to do if you ever want to regain our trust.
Fucking exactly. I don’t identify as a feminist anymore for the same reason. Feminism doesn’t have a history of racism, cissexism, ableism and more BECAUSE IT’S STILL HAPPENING. It’s still the present, not the past. Most feminists need to check their privilege, and to those who do, I thank you because you are better than most people. As a black, disabled, asexual woman I cannot take on a label that is riddled with everything that I have to fight against on a daily basis.
I’m probably opening a bag of worms by saying this, but I don’t believe in social disabilities. That isn’t to say I don’t believe in social awkwardness, nor that disabilities interpreted as social disabilities do not exist. They exist, but no disability is primarily social and it is dangerous to think otherwise. It is also dangerous to interpret any cognitive impairment as “being wrong about everything - or at least everything someone wants you to think you’re wrong about - by default”. Why? Because all of this causes people to think of themselves as in the wrong consistently, which leads them to justify abuse in their minds and not stand up for themselves. The concept of classifying disabilities in these ways seems absolutely immoral.
I agree with this
Like, I get why cis, white, straight men are bigoted assholes. They really haven’t had to deal with any sort of systematic oppression. Not that that excuses their bigotry, but I understand it.
What I don’t understand is how people who do experience systematic oppression can still be terrible bigots.
Why are white trans people racist?
Why are white women homophobic?
Why are PoC cissexist?
Why are gay people sexist?
I know people make mistakes, but when that happens you stfu and apologize. What I see usually though is derailing arguments. The “I’m oppressed on this axis so I can’t possibly be a bigot” standpoint. And the “I’m a super progressive liberal who is super informed about everything! Nothing I say or do is bigoted! You just don’t inderstand/you’re overreacting!”. Then of course the outright bigots.
But yeah.. I really have trouble grasping this. I realize that being ignorant on some issues is a factor but Idk.
Yes, this is something i also don’t understand, at first i thought all the person who fight for the rights of some kind of people, must be people who are really decent and fighting for the rights of all kind of people but then, No, apparently, fails everywhere.
People who seems radical on some issues, who suddenly say and do the most fu**ed up things on another.